By Anuradha Azeemi
HE, is called God by us all. For me, he is my best friend. I have always spoken to HIM about, my mistakes, my pride, my guilt, my joy, my regrets, my strengths in a nut shell – everything. At times I have wondered if HE ever talks back. And then I began to notice that HE does. Sometimes it is an unmistakable whisper that is directly spoken to me. Another time HE speaks through those around me. Yet another time the answer is demonstrated without spoken words. What is very important is to be a keen observer and listener and have faith that once you have asked, it is HE who will reply to you, through you or through what is around you. Here are three distinct examples in my life that demonstrate HIS willingness to communicate with us provided we allow HIS messages to reach us through unfailing faith.
HE spoke through them.
One vulnerable evening about 9 years ago, I was on my ride back home. Tears were streaming down and I was wondering how cruel the circumstances could get with the extreme selfishness and inflated egos around me. I looked up into the sky and was having this silent connect with HIM and asked HIM in my mind if HE would ever speak to me and let me know what the solution to this was?
I was lost in my silent world when, the traffic signal turned red and the taxi halted. The cab driver turned around to look at me and as if in a trance spoke up firmly, “From whom are you begging your alms? Are you begging from those who are beggars themselves? They secretly beg from God what they want and try to make you feel you must beg them for what you need. They cannot give you anything. Ask HIM for all that you want and HE will give it to you directly.”
I had not spoken a word to the driver and was taken aback to hear him. Seeing my wide eyes full of surprise, the driver suddenly seemed to snap out and exclaimed, “I am so sorry madam, I never talk or interfere with my customers. I do not know why I felt like saying this to you. I do not even know what your problem is, but your tears were unbearable for me and I felt I had to speak up.”
I smiled and said, “Don’t worry brother, I know who spoke up through you.” This made me realize HE is always around, whether we acknowledge or live in denial. HE is the only one around. That changed my perspective of how I went ahead with my life from then on. I went on to be more and more fearless each day knowing HE was my only provider.
HE spoke through me.
Those were the hard-core corporate days when target achievements meant everything. My team and I were sitting over a target that would break all national and international records until then in the company. And we were in full form. We raced to complete our target with ease and then we stopped short of a mere 10,000AED. It seemed like after all the efforts over the entire month the last ten thousand would render us failed. It was 10p.m. already and we were almost at the verge of closing the center down for the day. The team had followed up on all the clients who were to come and clear payments for the day and there seemed no hope for anyone to walk in this late in the night.
I went into my favorite hide out in my personal cabin and asked God why was it happening and if I had gone wrong anywhere? And there it was, a clear whisper as answer “So its you? All this was your doing as the head of this center? You motivated your team and hence they performed? So then why did you stop short of a mere 10,000 from your goal? If it is you and your team who did this, then, I am not in the picture am I?”
I shivered in my boots, stood up and told my team, I was leaving for the day. They were shocked. They know I am never the captain that would jump the ship before them, and definitely not the one to give up so close to breaking the record. But contradicting their expectations, I just said, “It’s HIM who will make it happen and there can be only one captain. When I leave, HE will take over and when HE takes over, nothing can stop us from achieving anything we want.” They all stared at me in disbelief. Perhaps they even thought that the stress of not being able to touch the mark by a mere marginal amount must have made me depressed and philosophical.
Anyways, I left and just as I left the building and the car drove just about 2 minutes off the premises, the team called me and said “It is unbelievable, just as you left a client called on his own, asked us to not close the center and told us he was on the way and even upgraded his package making the payment more than 10,000AED that we needed and we closed above the record breaking target!” I know I shivered once more hearing them. This time the shiver was because I was unable to get over the fact that I had felt HIM so close. I had heard HIM within me.
The next day the first thing the whole team did was to thank HIM. HE had demonstrated HIS will is over everything and everyone.
HE showed through a demonstration.
One day as I sat wondering why I was not improving in my commitments on the spiritual path towards HIM, HE demonstrated the answer through a metaphor in order to make me understand. I noticed that the battery of my mobile would get drained within no time of it being fully charged. When I decided to investigate the reason for this, I realized, whilst I was charging the mobile in full, it was of not much use as there were many applications operative in the background that were draining the battery life. This was causing me to recharge the battery multiple times in a day with not much use. I became aware that the solution to the problem was simple, I just had to shut down all applications that were not essential, however high the temptations to keep them on.
This demonstrated a huge lesson as answer to my query. Performing spiritual practices diligently is like charging the battery, which in this case I saw it as the power to recognize my soul. However, if I switched on applications such as attachment, expectations, pain, hurt, revenge, anger, lust, jealousy, fear, sadness, guilt, regret etc. my spiritual energy would be drained in no time and I would be back to square one. It is going to be an absolutely futile exercise to charge each time and find it drained off in no time. Making my progress slower each passing day instead of accelerating over time. This lesson changed so much of my perspective.
But after years of asking and listening to answers, I have felt that when we do not ask is the time the most profound messages drop into our spiritual inbox, which we commonly refer to as our heart. ‘Asking’ in my opinion has its foundation based on a definite agenda, which is a rather limiting approach to God. If we earnestly wished the infiniteness in God Almighty to speak to us without holding on to our questions, based on our preconceived notions, we would receive so much more than just answers from HIM. Who knows, when we only aspire to seek a drop from the ocean, HE may will that our palms overflow with HIS wisdom!
Is this not what HE has demonstrated to us time and again? HE bestowed upon us such wisdom that we had no comprehension of. HE without us asking, created capabilities of absorbing the qualities of an entire ocean (HIM) in the little sprinkle of water (we).
I do not understand poetry,
I only write my heart out.
I do not try to rhyme my words,
For I gather fragments of my thoughts.
I meet my inspirations in conversations
Sometimes with people,
At times with myself,
& all the time with YOU my beloved God!